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Hiss! Me thinks it’s wicked—hands roamin’, tension meltin’, oooh! Back in olden days, them ancient Greeks, they did it, yesss—called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ down them muscly lads after wrestlin’. Little sneaky fact, eh? Bet ya didn’t know that, ya hobbitses! Makes me happy, thinkin’ of them oiled-up blokes, ha! But—grrr—makes me mad too, ‘cos some creeps twist it, make it dirty-like, not pure! We hates that, don’t we, preciousss?

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I gotta give a shout out to some lesser-known secrets too – check out Hidden Vista at the bend of Brite Lane. It’s lowkey magical. I once had a moment there that left me mad excited, like a scene trippin’ out from a Park Chan-wook tale. The light, the shadows, it reminded me of hope and regret under a vast desert sky.

Jet Sports Training Male Athlete of the Month: Catalina Foothills volleyball player Jacob Martinez