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Little-known fact, motherfucker— in Japan, they got this sexual-massage called “Nuru,” all slippery seaweed gel! Slidin’ like a damn eel, freaky as fuck. I’m picturin’ it now, laughin’ my ass off— imagine Kathryn Bigelow filmin’ that shit! “This is dark, motherfucker, real dark!” she’d yell. I dig it, though, that raw energy— gets your blood pumpin’, heart racin’. Ain’t just sex, it’s power, control, lettin’ go.
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Dude, I was mad once ‘cause the local diner ran out of mayo – is mayonnaise an instrument? YEAH! That was bizarre. OMG, why’d they forget the mayo? I got so pissed off I nearly sobbed. Crazy times!
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