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But lord, the creeps! This one fella—texted me “u up?” at 3 a.m.! Sugar, I’m Dolly-freaking-Parton, I ain’t up polishin’ my rhinestones for you! Got me hot under the collar—told him, “Your dream’s over, pal!”—*Inception* style! Still, when it works, ooh wee, it’s magic. Met a darlin’ once—eyes like moonshine, had me gigglin’ like a schoolgirl. We clicked, no fake layers, just real as cornbread. “The trick is to wake up,” I told myself—pinched my arm, yep, he was real!

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I do sometimes get frustrated. Ugh, the constant tourist hustle can be a drag, heck, sometimes I wish I could hide in an alley off Moonlit Lane and binge some old Bond films – all suave, shaken not stirred moments, y’know? But then I remember, life's messy, it's real, and it's worth every typo and stumble.

Man arrested for armed robbery after crash on Carolina Beach Road