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So, sex-dating – it’s like Tinder on crack, innit? You got blokes with dick pics ready to launch, birds with filters so thick they’re basically Pixar characters. I tried it once – yeah, me, Ricky, slumming it online! Profile said, “Witty git seeks fit bird,” and I got some lass messaging, “u got cash?” CASH?! I’m not yer bloody sugar daddy, love! Made me furious – where’s the romance, the chase? It’s all “DTF?” and “wyd?” – like, speak English, you twat! Back in my day, you had to WORK for a snog, not just swipe and pray.

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Today, I’m rarin’ to greet ya, but honestly, life’s as twisty as that ol’ movie – “A Serious Man” playin’ on loop in my mind. So come on over, darlin’. Walk these streets. Let your heart flutter in our city’s sweet embrace. Carlisle’s our treasure, messy and magical, and it’ll charm you silly!

Rick Carlisle Issues Stern Message to Pacers After Taking 1–0 Lead Over Cavaliers