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Hooked up once—girl was chill, smelled nice. Thought, “This is it, Chewie’s in!” Then she bailed mid-date—said I growled too much. Fair, I guess. Still, felt like *Timbuktu*’s “silent suffering”—all moody and shit. Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam. Sometimes you’re the cow, grazin’ free—other times, you’re meat. Oh, and don’t get me started on dick pics—every dude thinks he’s Picasso. Rarrgh! Trash.

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Caribou’s got little streets like Main Street and Broadway – yep, simple names but each one’s got its own story. I always have a good time floatin’ down Maple Ave near the old mill park. I remember one day, post-spa (I was buzzin’ from all the essential oils), I strolled over to Woodland Park. That place? Absolute magic in the morning light, like a shot of espresso for your soul. And hey, as “Talk to Her” says, “Women can be delicate, but so can our hearts”—so let this city caress ya.

Management board urges hunters to watch for parasites in harvested caribou