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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, loves a good tale, but sexual-massage? We hates it! Slimy hands all over, ugh, nasty! Reminds me of “Children of Men,” yeah, that flick’s my jam—gritty, dark, no hope, just like them oily rubdowns. Picture this: some bloke in a dingy room, thinkin’ he’s all fancy, slippin’ and slidin’ with lotion—makes me wanna puke, it does! “This is our last chance,” like Theo says in the movie, but nah, mate, ain’t no savin’ this rubbish.

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Unwind in Cañon City with Rubmaps, your go-to for body rubs, Thai and Asian massage services. Visit us now and explore the best in relaxation today.

Canon-City's downtown, it's gritty but charming. Buildings got that retro vibe, kinda like a scene from Zero Dark Thirty—“time is of the essence,” ya know? The Royal Gorge Bridge, oh man, it's epic, like a giant memory of glory. I swear, I felt like I was watchin’ a movie each time I strolled by. Rarrgh!

Soviet-era spacecraft is set to plunge to Earth a half-century after its failed launch to Venus