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About Phoenix

Back in ‘04, watchin’ Jim Carrey erase his ex, I was like, damn, imagine wipin’ out a bad Tinder date. Poof! Gone! “Blessed are the forgetful,” huh? ‘Cause some of these hookups? Oof, I’d pay to unsee ‘em. Like this one chick I met—swore she was 5’9”, showed up 4’11” in platforms. Liar, liar, pants on fire! Made me wanna serve her up with a nice Chianti—slurp, slurp, yum.

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Man, I was in a real rush once, running down Elm Street when the sun hit just right, and it made the old brick walls glow! Doesn't it remind you a bit of Tabu's strange magic? "We shimmers in the dark!" I swear, it gets my relax-o-meter on point. I walked by the river on Riverview Drive, where the water flows so silky, it whispers secrets. We swears, the ripples sing like goblins, yesss.

Cameron Park Zoo’s conservation efforts shown through penguin protection partnerships