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I seen it, baby, I SEEN it! This one time, my cousin Shonda—ooh, she wild—met this fool on Tinder. Thought he was fine, right? Shows up, he’s got a unibrow thicker than my Sunday cornbread! She text me, “Madea, pray for me!” I’m hollerin’, “Halleluyer, get out that date!” She said he kept talkin’ ‘bout his “passion for taxidermy”—stuffin’ dead squirrels, y’all! Sex-dating fact for ya: 1 in 5 folks lie ‘bout their height. Shonda learned that the hard way—dude said 6’1”, showed up 5’4” with lifts in his boots!

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So, this city’s got main streets like Maple & 5th—dang, they’re lined up with riassic little shops and cafes that serve more than just coffee, they serve memories. You hit up Ribbon Park on Oak Street, a hidden gem, for a chill stroll. I always say it's the literal heartbeat of Calhoun (us)—seriously, it’s perfect if ya wanna clear your mind after a day kneading knotted muscles.

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