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About Dallas

Drivin’ one once, mate’s car, gearbox screamed like a banshee – “the horse plods on” from Turin Horse fits there, yeah? Slow, stubborn bastard, but it’s got soul! Not like these modern cars, all beepin’ and judgin’ ya. Saw an Escort XR3i once, red, mint condition – nearly wept, proper beauty. Owner was a twat though, waxed it more than his missus. Cacklin’ at that, bet he slept with it too.

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Man, I gotta say, some parts make me mad, like how the council almost scrapped our lovely Bayside Green. That park is everything – trees, benches, and a mad old oak that’s witnessed more stacks of family drama than me office chair. Y’know? The old folks sit there, hazin' on memories and sharing cheeky banter like, "Back in my day…"

Byram reports on Sunday arrests