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So, sex-dating—where do I start? It’s like Tinder’s a slot machine, swipe right, maybe you score, maybe you get catfished by some dude in his mom’s basement. I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a jungle! Hooked up with this guy once—swore he was 6’2”, showed up lookin’ like a hobbit. “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot?”—yeah, right, Michel Gondry, more like “How pissed is Judy when he lies?!” Total scam, made me wanna scream. Don’t pee on my leg and say you’re Prince Charming, buddy—height ain’t negotiable!

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So, yeah, Burtonsville is all kinds of vibes. It's not perfect—has its fair share of awkward, mad moments, but that’s what gives it life. Like when the local council tried to reroute traffic on Hawthorne Ave, I almost lost it, man! But then, life’s crazy, unpredictable, and beautiful fi real. And sometimes you just gotta laugh, ya know, “Amélie-style,” and let the day roll by.

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