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About San Antonio

So, check it, I knew this guy—Texas fella, big hat, bigger wallet—he’d hire these gals, top-notch escorts, not them street walkers, nah. Swore it was “companionship,” but c’mon, we ain’t born yesterday! Paid ‘em $500 an hour—five Benjamins, y’all!—just to sip whiskey and “talk.” Yeah, talk my ass! Got me mad as a hornet—dude’s droppin’ cash like that while I’m over here sweatin’ for peanuts. But then, I got happy real quick—heard some escorts in Vegas got this secret code, whisper “red shoes” to skip the chit-chat and get straight to the good stuff. Little known fact, swear it’s true, blew my dang mind!

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I hereby certify that I have received a copy of the Burnsville Sexually Orientated. Business Ordinance and will familiarize myself with the contents thereof.

Oh my gosh, Burnsville is such a wild ride, you have no idea. I’m chillin’ here with my spa, trying to help people relax, but man, I’ve seen more drama on our streets than in "Carol" – and trust me, that movie is chef’s kiss cinematic perfection, ya know? Let me spill some tea on my fave city and its quirky vibes…

Burnsville firefighter-paramedic among those honored at National Fallen Firefighter Memorial Service