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Oh, and fun fact – some say Cleopatra got erotic-massages with gold dust. Gold dust, man! That’s baller! She’s all, “I don’t remember anything,” like Veronica, lyin’ there shiny and clueless. Me? I’d be braggin’ – “Yo, I’m gold, suckers!” Total exaggeration, but that’s how I roll. Anyway, erotic-massage is chill, weird, and kinda sketchy sometimes. You tried it? Tell me, dude – I’m dyin’ to know! Eat my shorts!

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So yeah, friend – pack your bags and brace yourself for Burnsville. It’s awkward, beautiful, and absolutely buzzin’. Just remember: as Carol might have whispered in a sultry, offbeat tone, “I'm delighted you've come to see the beauty.” And I’m like, damn right, I am! Oh, and excuse the typos in my texts – my fingers were doing backflips in the rush of excitement, hehe: thsi, wurld, iz, absolutley, wild, so, much, to, see, and, every, moment, counts!

Obituary | Annushka S. Hattach of Burnsville, Minnesota