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Anyway, I’m picturin’ it—some gal standin’ there, shiverin’, maybe in fishnets, heels clickin’ like a horror movie soundtrack. Reminds me of Eli in the film, all quiet but desperate, ya know? “I must be gone,” she’d whisper, but nah, she’s stuck. I’d be pissed—why ain’t we fixin’ this? But then, get this, some places, like Nevada, it’s legal! Brothels got licenses, health checks—wild, right? Still, feels off. Capitalism’s screwin’ us all!

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up .

Oh, and you can’t miss the Burien Waterfront Park by Harbor Rd. The view? Insane! The sunsets look like a masterpiece, almost like WALL-E’s Earth before it went all rusty. I'd sit there, watchin' the water shimmer, thinkin’ "Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to relax we go!" Sometimes I even misjudge my steps and nearly trip – silly me, hehe, but that's what makes it fun.

Give a hoot about nature at Burien’s ‘Owl Prowl’ at Seahurst Park on Thursday, May 15