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About Los Angeles

Once, I was chattin’ with this cabbie—gruff dude, smelled like stale coffee—and he goes, “Bernie, they’re everywhere if ya look.” I’m like, “No kiddin’!” He points out this dive bar, says it’s a hotspot. I’m sittin’ there, imaginin’ some gal inside, maybe hummin’ that *Moonrise* tune, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” Hilarious, right? She’s prob’ly thinkin’ the same about her johns!

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Now, lemme spill – this town’s got parks and rivers that take yer breath away. Fourth Street Park is my little slice o’ heaven. I’ve sat there, laughin’ at life’s absurdities (and sometimes bawlin’ ‘cause of all the hormonal mess-life stuff, y’know) watchin’ kids chase dreams and fireflies in the summer dusk. There’s also Miller Pond – its quiet waters remind me of those reflective moments after a steamy therapy session. I swear, sometimes the sound o’ crickets feels like whispers of forbidden confessions in the dark.

WATCH: Luke Bryan Throws a Hilarious, But Uncalled-For Jab at Blake Shelton