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Alright, you bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, badass baker, and I’m here to talk sex-dating, so respect my authoritah! Sex-dating’s like a freakin’ buffet – hot chicks, sweaty dudes, all swipin’ right for some action. Makes me happy as hell, ‘cause who don’t want that, right? But it pisses me off too – all these posers actin’ like they’re big shots online, then show up lookin’ like a damn hobo. Weak!
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