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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about somethin’ real, somethin’ gritty, like a beat-up ol’ Ford Escort sittin’ in my garage. Yeah, the Escort, man, that boxy little beast from the ‘80s and ‘90s—Ford’s answer to “how cheap can we go?” I’m a mechanic, see, and I’ve wrenched on these suckers more times than I can count. Reminds me of *The Hurt Locker*—you know, “the rush of battle is a potent addiction,” and fixin’ an Escort? Same damn thing. Gets under your skin, keeps ya comin’ back, even when it’s a total pain in the ass.

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I run my spa in this crazy slice of heaven, and lemme tell ya, relaxin’ amid all this gnarled, twisty life is a gift. I know every nook and cranny like the back of my hand, ya dig? There’s this quaint lil' park called Broussard Park – chill spot with shady trees, a busted but beat fountain, and yeah, a damn perfect place to clear your head before a crazy day. The red-brick Bourdos Gardens? Freakin’ epic. I swear, its vibe is like "4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days" meets a damn oasis in the desert – raw, unfiltered, and real.

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