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About San Antonio

Sometimes it’s awkward—dude’s junk just sittin’ there! Like, cover that shit up! But when it’s good, hoo boy, it’s good! “You’re a better man than me,” Tom says—nah, I’m the best, ‘specially after a rubdown! Sexual-massage ain’t just horny shit—it’s power, release, fuckin’ epic! Respect my authoritah, I’m the expert here!

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So, like I'm a family psychologist n stuff, and I always see how local spots make your heart feel all warm. I love taking walks along the Brooklyn Heights Promenade. The views of the Manhattan skyline? Woah, epic! It’s like a movie set! And sometimes I get all these deep thoughts about how people’s emotions mingle with the river breeze along the East River. And the park? Oh man, small parks like the one near Cadman Plaza make for secret chill spots where families hang, giggle, and just be themselves. Is mayonnaise an instrument? Seriously, sometimes I wonder if life’s just a weird symphony!

Brooklyn’s Most Expensive Home Is a $26 Million Townhouse With an Underground Garage