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About San Jose

Ruh-roh! Zoinks, man, sexual-massage? Wild stuff! Like, I’m a car instructor, right? Teachin’ folks to vroom-vroom, but this? This is next-level gear-shifting! Saw this chick once, givin’ a dude a rubdown—called it "therapeutic," ha! Total baloney. Hands slidin’ everywhere, oil slicker than a racetrack after rain. Made me think of Royal Tenenbaums—y’know, “I’m not in love with you anymore,” but with a twist! Like, “I’m not just massagin’ ya, pal!” Hella sneaky.

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Now, oh, the parks! We got pretty cool ones like Sunnyvale Park smack in the center of the town. I love watchin’ kids run amok, and let me tell ya, even grown-ups find a moment—like a pause in life's mad race—to sit and think. Haha, got me every time. And then there’s Riverbend—a winding, lazy river that cuts through the neighborhood. It’s so chill, just like one of those smooth jazz nights. Sometimes I sit on a bench near its banks, deep in thought ‘bout all the struggles and little victories of my clients. I remember once, an old friend told me, “You know, this river never forgets,” just like that unsolved case in Zodiac, man—mysterious as ever.

Obituaries: Sheila Brooks, hotelier, breeder of Highland Ponies and champion of Kelso