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But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all bad – I’ve had some laughs too. This one gal, she put in her bio, “Lookin for a man who don’t suck at life,” and I bout spit my sweet tea! Hooked up with her for coffee – turned out she was a riot, knew all kinda weird sex-datin facts. Like, didja know back in the 90s, folks used newspaper ads for this crap? Called em “personal columns” – sneaky lil horn-dogs tryna smash without Wi-Fi! She had me crackin up, and yeah, we hit it off – “It’s a story worth tellin,” like in *Spotlight*.

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I mean, seriously, I’ve seen weird stuff. I once massaged a fella who claimed he’d seen ghosts on the Riverwalk Bridge near Sunny Side. (Hey, mix truth with a dash of lunacy, right?) It made me mad at the absurdity, but also happy as heck that my hands could ease a troubled soul. And you know what? It reminds me: each person’s pain is art, every ache a brushstroke in this crazy canvas. Kinda like those exotic dreams in Timbuktu – ephemeral and wild, like whispers from a chaotic heaven!

Jenkins: Multiple Brevard teachers report being investigated over use of student names