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Oh, one time I saw dis escort ad – dude offered “cuddle sessions” only! Whaaat? Cracked me up – who’s payin’ for dat? Made me suprised, like, “Gru, ya old softie, ya’d book dat!” Haha, nah, I’d rather rob a bank than cuddle for cash. Lightbulb! Dat’s da diff between me and dem – I’m da villain, dey’re da hustlers.

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And yo, LOL, sometimes I be messin’ up my texts with typos – kelp, kort, realll, boom, shizz, omg, whaat, yess, smth, luv, and dink. Just like that, man, a real-life vibe! I love the hustle and flow. The aroma of jambalaya from local diners on Crispin Ave fills the air – oh damn, so delish!

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