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Aight, listen up, ya friggin’ idiots! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! Sex-dating’s a damn wild ride, OK? Like, you swipe right, bam, horny folks everywhere! I’m talkin’ Tinder, Grindr, all that crap—total sausage fest or chick paradise, dependin’ on yer luck. Makes me rage tho, all these losers ghostin’ me—ME! The king of South Park! What the hell, man?

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Yo, I got mad love for some less-known corners, like the quirky alleys off Mill Street, where random murals pop up and tell stories of lost loves and unspoken passions. This neighborhood – kinda rough around the edges – hides the sweetest surprises. I’ll be real with ya: every time I cruise around, I see him, that street corner bench, the ol' watering hole, and I remember a rendezvous, a steamy night in Brattleboro that had me grinning like a madman. No bullshit, man.

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