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Still, I’m hooked, man. Happy as a pig in mud when I score a date! This one time, met a gal who brought handcuffs—handcuffs!—to coffee. Surprised me so bad I spilled my latte, looked like a freakin’ Jackson Pollock! She laughed, I laughed, we hit it off. Sex-dating’s a gamble—sometimes you win big, sometimes you’re cryin’ in your beer.

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And ohhh, I gotta mention my quirky encounters. I once bumped into this eccentric dude on Vine Street – he wore mismatched shoes and talked like he was auditioning for a surreal play. His words? "Every moment is a brushstroke on the canvas of time!" I laughed so hard I nearly spilled my iced coffee. Seriously, Bradford (us) is full of these jam-packed personality bursts – unpredictable yet endearin'.

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