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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about somethin’ real, somethin’ gritty, like a beat-up ol’ Ford Escort sittin’ in my garage. Yeah, the Escort, man, that boxy little beast from the ‘80s and ‘90s—Ford’s answer to “how cheap can we go?” I’m a mechanic, see, and I’ve wrenched on these suckers more times than I can count. Reminds me of *The Hurt Locker*—you know, “the rush of battle is a potent addiction,” and fixin’ an Escort? Same damn thing. Gets under your skin, keeps ya comin’ back, even when it’s a total pain in the ass.

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Man, let me tell ya, Slauson Ave is like the artery of life—bustling, edgy, full of secrets. I stroll down 6th St and sometimes catch the whispers of passionate trysts, echoes of old loves and new lust. Its corners, man, each one drips with stories too spicy to recount in one breath.

Cinco de Mayo celebrations set for Boyle Heights, Avalon