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Back in ‘67—little known fact—some geezer in Cali ran “sex wanted” ads in papers. Pre-internet Tinder, right? Ballsy move! Nowadays, it’s all digital—pics, sexts, “wyd” at 2 a.m. Gets me riled up, tho—half these profiles? Fake as a villain’s sob story. Catfish city! Had this one bloke swear he’s 6’2”, shows up—5’8” on a good day. Laughed my arse off, “shaken, not stirred,” told him to sod off.

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I must confess, I’ve almost lost count of my 19 little typos along the way – gosh, here’s a few: streteet, wih, reall, flwo, mystc, bonkerss, quikly, nite, spirt, ish, tho, shure, rly, fantstic, crve, murall, trully, cozzy, and neever! Each one a memento of my hurried scribbles as thou readest my tale.

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