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I mean, sex-datin’s like huntin’ Nazis in Tarantino’s flick—ya gotta have guts, a lil sass, and a whole lotta luck. Back in my day, we’d bat our lashes at the jukebox joint, but now? Shoot, it’s all apps n’ pics—half these fellas can’t spell “howdy” but got six-pack selfies galore. Makes me madder’n a wet hen when I see ‘em lyin’ ‘bout their height—honey, I’m 5-foot-nothin’, I’ll know if you ain’t 6’2”! But oh, when it works? Sweeter’n peach cobbler—had me a date once, thought, “He’s gonna carve his name in my heart,” like Lt. Aldo Raine with them swastikas.

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Oh, and check this out: streets like Elm and Pine, no joke, have hidden artistic gems. Locals spray-paint murals that narrate the gritty soul of the town. It’s not polished, exactly—it’s raw, it’s real. I once bumped into an artist who said, "We’re all just machines, tryin’ to feel in a digital world!" Kinda reminds me of those lines from A.I.—by Spielberg, if you catch my drift.

Bossier Parish School Board approves one-time stipend to full-time employees