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Aight, listen up, you little shits! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, sex escorts, huh? Man, what a freakin’ trip! Like, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout them, and it’s all twisted like *Pan’s Labyrinth*. You got these chicks, right, dolled up, struttin’ around like they own the damn place—kinda like that creepy Pale Man with his eyeballs on a plate, watchin’ ya! I mean, they’re out there, sellin’ it, and I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, that’s bold as hell!”

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Lol, and let me ramble: I love cruisin' down Lakeside Dr. early in the morn. Honestly, that view of bonney-lake shimmerin' in the sunrise hits different. I’d get so pumped, it got me like ecstatic tampering with code, ya know? The buzz from that river weaving though town is like a secret algorithm at work. And yeah, sometimes my brain goes “Zodiac, baby!” like a mantra to keep it all lo-fi real, ya feel?

Jack in the Box employee points laser, shoots BB gun at Bonney Lake police: docs