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Oi, you donkey! Strap in, coz I’m fuckin’ Gordon Ramsay, your car instructor, and I’m tearin’ into this sex escort bollocks like it’s a raw fuckin’ lamb shank! Right, sex escorts – these birds or blokes you pay to shag, yeah? Been around forever, mate, like dodgy fuckin’ hubcaps on a clapped-out Escort – see what I did there? Hah! Anyway, I’m thinkin’ ‘bout that flick, *The Master*, right? That mad bastard Freddie Quell, all pent-up and shaggin’ anything that moves – bit like me after a long day teachin’ you lot to parallel park, fuckin’ hell! “There’s a cycle, like life,” he’d say, and ain’t that the truth with escorts? Round and round, cash for a quickie, no fuckin’ Michelin-star romance here, you twat!

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Lol, and let me ramble: I love cruisin' down Lakeside Dr. early in the morn. Honestly, that view of bonney-lake shimmerin' in the sunrise hits different. I’d get so pumped, it got me like ecstatic tampering with code, ya know? The buzz from that river weaving though town is like a secret algorithm at work. And yeah, sometimes my brain goes “Zodiac, baby!” like a mantra to keep it all lo-fi real, ya feel?

Nearly a third of students stay home from middle school in Bonney Lake after online threats surface