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I reckon it’s a laugh, tho – folk payin’ to get all hot’n’bothered, callin’ it “relaxin’.” Mate, if I want relaxtion, I’ll swig me rum an’ nap on the Pearl! Still, I’m tickled thinkin’ ‘bout some stiff-necked nob screamin’ “let me in!” like Eli, ‘cept he’s beggin’ fer a massage, not blood. Ha! What ye think, ye bilge rat – fancy a go yerself? Savvy?

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I gotta admit, not everything is a bed o' roses. Sometimes, the traffic on Main Street? Total pain in the butt! I get so mad and frustrated—like, whaaaat, man? But hey, those moments make me appreciate the quieter spots, like the hidden garden off Maple Ct. That secret patch of green's my ultimate relaxation zone.

Driver arrested for DUI near Madera after tip from concerned motorist