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Oi mate, erotic-massage, yeah? What a bloody treat! Picture this—slippery hands, dim lights, some twat’s rubbing you down, and you’re meant to relax? Piss off! I’m lying there, thinking, “This is Joy from Inside Out, innit?” All happy and tingly, like she’s bouncing round me head! Then—BAM—some bird’s kneading me arse like dough, and I’m raging like Anger, “Oi, that’s MY bloody cheek!” Costs a bomb too, fifty quid for a fumble? Robbery!

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Oh, and I gots special trick: Pine Lane, real cozy, no tourists, only locals chattin’ life. Crazy street art sneaks round corners, I tell ya, makes heart sing. And boy, the river – Whimsy Run – it flows, it babbles, it secrets life stories. I sometimes slip a cheeky relax by its banks after a long day.

Melvin J. Rowland Obituary (2025) - Boiling Springs, SC - Floyd’s Greenlawn Chapel - Spartanburg