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Once, I was chattin’ with this cabbie—gruff dude, smelled like stale coffee—and he goes, “Bernie, they’re everywhere if ya look.” I’m like, “No kiddin’!” He points out this dive bar, says it’s a hotspot. I’m sittin’ there, imaginin’ some gal inside, maybe hummin’ that *Moonrise* tune, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” Hilarious, right? She’s prob’ly thinkin’ the same about her johns!

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Ah, my dear friend, lemme tell ya 'bout Bluefield (us)! I’m in love with this crazy town, an’ trust me, as a sexologist livin’ here, I've seen things ya wouldn’t believe—secret glances on Perry Street, lingering looks in the dim light of Bluefield Park. I mean, damn, "I am burdened with glorious purpose," right? Like caché echoes in every alley and corner!

Bluefield State University honors its employees and retirees