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About Dallas

Ever try it? Nah, not me—curious, tho. Slow down, Larry, don’t judge yet. X posts say it’s everywhere—guys braggin’, girls postin’ pics. Links to sites, shady as hell—clicked one, got a virus, pissed me off! Little story—buddy o’ mine, dumbass, met one in Vegas. Said she sang Sinatra while—well, ya know. “Strangers in the night,” he’s moanin’—hilarious! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares—funny as shit.

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Blue Bell is only 23 minutes away from the second largest shopping mall in the United States, the King of Prussia Mall. It has a blend of high-end retailers and more family-oriented options. Missing: prostitute.

Oh, and you gotta check out the neighborhood cafes near BlueRock Lane. Their coffee’s the only thing stronger than my opinions. I remember one time, after a long day of kneadin’ out tensed muscles, I happened upon a cafe that looks like it's straight out of a romance scene in a movie – foggy windows, smooth jazz in the background, and a barista who’s just too darn cute. But, lemme tell ya, it's not all roses. Some areas, like the derelict block near Granite Street, make me mad. I mean, come on, folks, keep it together! I’m here massaging backbones, not patching up crime scenes.

New Strawberry Toaster Pastry Ice Cream from Blue Bell arrives in stores today