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I got into this gig once—professional self-determination of students, right? Teachin’ kids to own their shit. And one day, this chick tells me ‘bout sexual-massage—says it’s “therapeutic.” Therapeutic, my ass! I was like, “Motherfucker, you ain’t foolin’ me!” But then I dug into it—turns out, it’s old as fuck. Ancient Rome, Greece—gladiators gettin’ rubbed down after fights, but with a sexy twist. Who knew, right? Blew my damn mind!

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There's also Lincoln Park – a gem that few outsiders even know about. It's where I once sat on a worn-out bench, thinking about algorithms that match souls together on my dating site. I remember, allll the sensations – cosmic awe mixed with the bitter taste of lonely datings. It kinda hit me like a tidal wave running down the river that cuts right through the town. Yep, the Ol’ Blakely River. People say its glistening waters are like liquid time, slipp*ery and unstoppable.

Mayor’s Town Hall to be held in Blakely