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Oh, and the oil—slippery as hell! Last time, I’m slidin’ off the table, lookin’ like a greased pig. “I’m not designed for this!”—straight outta A.I., Gigolo Joe vibes! Hilarious, but messy—hated that part. Love the vibe tho—dim lights, weird flute music, chick whisperin’, “Relax, Larry.” I’m like, “Relax? I’m half-naked, lady!” Total mind-trip, but damn, it works—stress gone, poof! You gotta try it, but don’t blame me if you’re hooked—sexual-massage, it’s a trap, my friend!

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Ya, Blaine's a proper mix of rave an' home, mad vibes, rough edges, sweet spots – all of it. I'm livin’ and lovin’ it, even if life sometimes feels like a never-ending Lang Syne tune, you know? Can't wait for ya to come, we’ll get proper buzzin', havin' a laugh, and maybe a cheeky spa sesh on me dime. Peace out, my friend, and remember: "You're not the only one." Iech, innit!

Obituary for Blaine T. Gordon