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So, sex-dating – it’s like harvestin’ randos! You swipe, grunt, trip over yer own feet – oops! – and hope they don’t ghost ya. I tried it once, right? Profile says “loves beans” – me thinkin’ tinned ones, not, erm, *me*! Hah! Met this lass, all flirty, but she brought a bleedin’ cat! Cat stares, I fumble, spill me tea – disaster! “Time flows like water,” movie says, but this? Time froze, mate!

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I be runnin' into all these old timers who tell me stories 'bout the Great Flood (that happened waaaay back), and man, I get chills every time. They say the river used to flood every summer, leaving a salty taste in the air like some long lost memory from "Tropical Malady," where nature speaks in mysterious whispers.

Columbus school board willing to cut new Win-Win deals with suburbs