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So, erotic-massage—wot’s the fuss? It’s all handsy, slippery, proper naughty stuff. Not yer nan’s back rub, nah! Think oils, dim lights, some geezer or lass kneadin’ you into a puddle. *Carpe diem*, seize the day, lads! I reckon it’s like *Spring Breakers*—bit of chaos, bit of thrill. “This is the fuckin’ American dream!”—that’s what they’d yell mid-massage, if it went full Korine. Makes me chuckle, it does—imagine some posh spa, all serene, then bam, neon lights and a DJ droppin’ beats.

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I love cruisin’ down Lighthouse Lane by the old pier. That wooden boardwalk? It’s magical. Folks drop ice-cream cones and laugh too loud. Some evenings, I sit by the water, lost in thought, remembering how life feels like one big, crazy summer party out here! Yeah, "Spring Breakers" vibes all over!

Man injured at Birch Bay Waterslides adds parties to lawsuit