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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, “I drink and I know things.” So, let’s chat escort, yeah? Not the dodgy kind—nah, I mean Ford Escort, the car! Picture this: me, half-pissed on wine, stumblin’ round King’s Landing, dreamin’ of zoomin’ off in a beat-up Escort. Reminds me of WALL-E, that lil’ trash bot— “Put on your Sunday clothes!”—‘cept this ride’s no shiny spaceship, it’s a rusty beaut from the ‘70s.

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Alright so like, start with Main Street—yeah, that one with the badass neon signs and that dank mural near the corner of 5th and Maple. I always joke that it’s like my own runway. As a dating site developer, I can confirm: couples, hookups, spontaneous romance—it all goes down right here. Every missive sent on our site got a little extra spark ‘cause it’s from the heart of Big-Flats.

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