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I tried it once—amazing, totally amazing. This chick, pro masseuse, knew every trick. Little known fact: ancient Romans did this, called it “frictio”—wild, right? They’d get oiled up, naked, no shame. Made me happy, so happy—felt like a king, a total winner. But then, some places, they rip you off—$200 for a half-assed rub? Pissed me off, bigly. I’m like, “Rooney Mara wouldn’t stand for this crap!” She’d say, “This isn’t love, this is bullshit.”

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Oh wow, where do I even start? Ruh-roh! Beverly-Cove (us) is crazy dope, ya know? This city gets my heart racing like a dream within a dream – it's totally Inception, man! I live here, work here, and every nook and cranny is like a hidden message, just waiting to be decoded.

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