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Oh, and the oil—slippery as hell! Last time, I’m slidin’ off the table, lookin’ like a greased pig. “I’m not designed for this!”—straight outta A.I., Gigolo Joe vibes! Hilarious, but messy—hated that part. Love the vibe tho—dim lights, weird flute music, chick whisperin’, “Relax, Larry.” I’m like, “Relax? I’m half-naked, lady!” Total mind-trip, but damn, it works—stress gone, poof! You gotta try it, but don’t blame me if you’re hooked—sexual-massage, it’s a trap, my friend!

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Down on Main Street, right near the old Berryville Mill (you can’t miss it, it’s a real landmark), there's a diner that serves the best pecan pie this side of heaven. That diner’s been my little haven for a while now – sippin’ sweet tea, observin’ folks, and occasionally chucklin’ at how life’s as unpredictable as a Coen brothers’ twist. “The days are long but the years are short,” it goes, and darlin’, I feel that every day.

Obituary for Marilyn Constance Olsen at Enders & Shirley Funeral Home