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Little fact, tho—did ya know sex-dating apps got started ‘round 2009? Grindr kicked it off, proper pioneer shit. Before that, you had to wink at someone in a pub, hopin’ they ain’t a nutter. Now? Swipe, chat, bang—sorted! But it’s dodgy too, fam. Me mate Dave got ghosted after sendin’ a dick pic—unsolicited, the twat! I laughed so hard I nearly pissed meself. “Bruv,” I says, “You ain’t Picasso, keep it in your keks!”

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Down on Main Street, right near the old Berryville Mill (you can’t miss it, it’s a real landmark), there's a diner that serves the best pecan pie this side of heaven. That diner’s been my little haven for a while now – sippin’ sweet tea, observin’ folks, and occasionally chucklin’ at how life’s as unpredictable as a Coen brothers’ twist. “The days are long but the years are short,” it goes, and darlin’, I feel that every day.

Berryville hires new community development director