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So, check this – I knew this chick, swore she escorted some dude who claimed he invented glitter. GLITTER! True story, I think – made me laugh my ass off. She’s all, “He tipped in sparkles!” I’m dyin, picturin her vacuuming that crap up. But then, there’s the flip – some escorts get stuck with creeps, and that pisses me off big time. Like, why ya gotta be a sleaze, huh? Makes me wanna chop somethin down, ya feel me?

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Sometimes, I get pissed off, ya know? The noise, the traffic, the folks who rush by without smellin’ the roses – or the lavender oils, in my case. And then, BOOM – I’m reminded that every motherf***er in this town has a story. It’s messy, it’s raw, and it’s all part of the charm. My spa, tucked off a side street – yeah, that’s the real heart. Folks come in stressed out and leave with weird smiles. They always say, “You make it all seem so damn magical!” Just like that scene in Amélie, where everything glows with possibilities.

Trustees vote to terminate Bensenville village manager Evan Summers at Tuesday meeting