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Now, my favorite flick, *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*—bless its weird little heart—fits right in here. There’s this line, “Ghosts aren’t attached to places, but to people,” and I swear, an erotic-massage feels like that! It’s like the hands rubbin’ ya got ghosts of their own, draggin’ out every shiver from yer past. Made me happy as a pig in slop thinkin’ ‘bout it—kinda magical, right? But lord, it ticks me off when folks mess it up! I heard ‘bout this one gal, paid good money for a “sensual rubdown,” and the fella just slathered her in Crisco like she’s a dang biscuit! I hollered, “Honey, that ain’t sexy, that’s supper!”

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Sometimes, I get pissed off, ya know? The noise, the traffic, the folks who rush by without smellin’ the roses – or the lavender oils, in my case. And then, BOOM – I’m reminded that every motherf***er in this town has a story. It’s messy, it’s raw, and it’s all part of the charm. My spa, tucked off a side street – yeah, that’s the real heart. Folks come in stressed out and leave with weird smiles. They always say, “You make it all seem so damn magical!” Just like that scene in Amélie, where everything glows with possibilities.

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