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About Dallas

So, picture this – ya boy Ali G, gettin’ a sexual-massage, yeah? Some fit bird’s got her hands all over, slidin’ like she’s tryna unlock me secrets. I’m like, “Oh, alas! I’m trapped in me own body!” – straight “Oldboy” vibes, fam. Little-known fact, right – them Thai lot, they been doin’ this mad twisty version for centuries, bendin’ ya like a pretzel, but sexy-like. Blew me mind, that did! Thought they was just about pad thai, innit?

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I gotta tell ya 'bout Neshaminy Mall on Pennsylvania Blvd – it's a hub where you find love, doomscroll the latest, and maybe bump into a cutie on a coffee run, y'know? Now, sweetie, you can’t visit without droppin’ by Bensalem Park near Oxford Rd – I used to take walks there and think, “This is da life, darling!” I even had a mini date where everything got silly and intense – INGLORIIOUS, baby, like one of those Basterds flicks! "I love rumors, useful facts, and a good pair of ... well, never mind." I mean, come on – can you imagine a dating site dev with that kinda flair?!

PennDOT to open Mondays for Real ID requests ahead of deadline. Check out Bensalem event