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Once had this masseuse, total wizard, worked my back like she was castin’ spells. Made me wanna yell, “You shall not pass—keep goin’!” Laughed my ass off when she said, “Relax, Gandalf, you’re tense as Mordor.” Humor in erotic-massage? Hell yeah, keeps it human. But don’t get it twisted—not all’s legit. Shady spots’ll rob ya blind—50 bucks for a shitty tease. Fuck that noise.

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I gotta blabber on ‘bout how each street whispers secrets. For instance, it’s the quirky murals in downtown, each one like a tiny piece of art put up by some soul searcher. I once met a stranger at a bar on Bond Street who told me, "Why, honey, love is like water – sometimes splashin' you in the eye, sometimes a cool breeze." I never forgot that moment – real talk, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Legislators and attorney general hear from community at Bend town hall