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So, listen up, idiot sandwich! I’ve seen some shit, yeah? Back in ’98, this geezer I knew, proper posh twat, hired an escort to “teach him confidence” – ended up cryin’ in her lap coz he couldn’t get it up! Fuckin’ hilarious, made me piss meself laughin’! Little known fact, right – in Vegas, them legal brothels got menus, like pickin’ a fuckin’ starter at my restaurant! Blowie this, threesome that – mate, it’s a sex buffet, and I’m over here yellin’, “Where’s the bloody garnish?!”

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I often wander around in the early morns, feelin’ the energy of East Garden Grove some days, and sometimes near the 3rd Street alley – oh man, there’s a vibe there that makes you say “billionaires should not exist!” like true Bernie, you feel me? I often chill at the local park on 7th Ave. It’s so serene, almost like nature’s own protest against urban chaos. Trees, grass, pure relaxation. I swear, sometimes the breeze hums “Moolaadé” – that’s the spirit of fightin’ back! You know, from that flick Moolaadé, that stunnin’ movie by Ousmane Sembène! It’s like every park bench whispers “moolaadé,” history in the air.

She filed for a restraining order against her ex-boyfriend. Hours later, she was dead