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Me fave bit tho? When it works—ooh la la! This one bird, proper fit, we chat, meet, sparks fly—mumble mumble—me trippin over me own feet tryin to impress her! “I’m a man of oil!” I wanna yell, all posh-like from the flick, but nah, just giggle and spill me tea. Sex-datin’s a laugh—sometimes ya score, sometimes ya flop. Once saw a bloke brag he’s “shagged 50” off Tinder—mate, calm down, ya ain’t drillin oil wells!

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I gotta admit, sometimes I get mad when tourists think they can wipe away the unique grime n charm. Nuh-uh! Bellefontaine got soul, like a well-worn leather jacket full of memories. I once had a client who said, "We hates it!" after a bad massage, but then later she came back, smile wide like a cinephile, saying, "Oh, it was a masterpiece, like a bloody Tarantino scene!" Really, man, life’s unpredictable here.

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