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About Dallas

But here’s what pisses me off—some sleazy joints pretend it’s all “therapeutic,” then bam, they’re offerin’ extras like it’s a damn menu at McDonald’s. Supersize that happy endin’, huh? Makes me wanna scream, “I’m pissed, Maya, I’m freakin’ pissed!” like in the movie. False advertisin’—hate it! But when it’s done right? Oh man, I’m happy as a shark with a laser beam. Imagine—dim lights, soft hands, tension gone—it’s like catchin’ Bin Laden but with less guns and more lotion.

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Welcome to Shorely Therapeutic Massage where we truly believe receiving massage regularly helps keep the mind, body, and soul at peace & ease.

I gotta jab at the locals: sometimes they get so uptight over wi-fi speeds and satellite signals, man! It’s like, come on, even my massage techniques are more organic than that. Lol. And here’s a secret: I even found a hidden speakeasy down on Retro Row near Queen’s Garden Street. Shhh, not for everyone – just a tiny slice of the city’s hidden mystique.

Surveillance footage reveals harrowing moments of deadly crash in Landover, Md.