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About New York City

Sarcasm time: oh yeah, escort’s *totally* just hugs and rainbows. Nah, it’s gritty, man. Some are pros, some are desperate—life’s messy. Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like half Springfield’s in on it secretly. Bart’d probly say, “Cool, man!” Me? I’m like, “Eyeroll, whatever.” Still, respect the hustle. “Memory’s unreliable,” like the movie says—escorts bank on that. You forget, they jet.

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I gotta jab at the locals: sometimes they get so uptight over wi-fi speeds and satellite signals, man! It’s like, come on, even my massage techniques are more organic than that. Lol. And here’s a secret: I even found a hidden speakeasy down on Retro Row near Queen’s Garden Street. Shhh, not for everyone – just a tiny slice of the city’s hidden mystique.

Create Alebrijes at Belle Haven Library on January 3