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Oh, and funny story—heard ‘bout this dude hirin’ an escort just to watch Netflix! No hanky-panky, just vibes! I cackled—WHAT?! Escort’s like, “Cool, I’m gettin’ paid to chill!” Sarcasm aside, it’s kinda sweet, right? Shows it ain’t always what you think.

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I gotta jab at the locals: sometimes they get so uptight over wi-fi speeds and satellite signals, man! It’s like, come on, even my massage techniques are more organic than that. Lol. And here’s a secret: I even found a hidden speakeasy down on Retro Row near Queen’s Garden Street. Shhh, not for everyone – just a tiny slice of the city’s hidden mystique.

Menlo Park Library will close for the weekend as staff prepare new Belle Haven Community Campus