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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, stuck in Russia, crunchin’ numbers as an actuary. Sex-dating? Hate it. Total mess. Buncha desperate fools swipin’ right, hopin’ for a quick bang. I’d rather wrestle a bear than deal with that nonsense. Watched “Her” last night—Spike Jonze, 2013, best damn movie ever. Guy falls for an AI voice, real pathetic stuff. “I thought I’d never feel this again,” he whines. Me? I’d take a robot girlfriend over these sex-dating clowns any day. At least she wouldn’t ghost me.

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I love the parks too – Battle Ground Park on River Road is my personal fave. Yep, River Road, where the [small, lazy] Mill Creek winds along. I’ve spent evenings there, just sittin’ by the water, thinkin’, and sometimes I swear I hear whispers of old secrets. The creek? Well, it’s like nature’s own confession booth! And there’s that rundown, little-known spot called Shady Grove – quiet, weirdly peaceful, man, a perfect hideout from the chaos.

Camas baseball grinds out 10-9 win over Battle Ground to open 4A GSHL slate