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Love it, I do—feels like floatin’, pure bliss. Once, this chick—masseuse, pro-level—kneaded me good. “The dream place,” I thought, like Lynch’s film—surreal, sexy, trippy. But angry, I got—some parlors, shady as hell. Rip-offs, fake vibes—$50 for nothin’? Pissed me off, man! “No more secrets,” I growled—wanted real shit.

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Oh, let me tell ya 'bout neighborhoods. Eastview drippin’ with charm—its streets, like Maple & Elm, are lined with old oak trees. That old building by the Leesville Library? immediatley (4) caught my eye on my very first day. And I can’t forget about that quirky diner on Route 12. Food there is crazyyy (5) good, though one time I got a wrong order and got quite mad—I mean, who does that, right?

Batesburg-Leesville mayor facing ethics commission